I’m still getting used to being in the car by myself on the way to work. It really is weird. I think it must be how Vikings fans feel when they see a guy going through a mid-life crisis on ESPN quarterbacking their team. Confusing with sudden jolts of panic. The same thing would have happened if the Steelers had brought in George Atkinson back in the late 70’s, it would have caused serious weirdness. Him and Lynn Swann running out on the field together would have caused a Time Cop event. Remember when future Ron Silver and past Ron Silver occupied the same space? Yeah, that would have happened.
Anyway, one of the things that I caught myself doing in the car this morning was conversing with the radio. I mean after I turned around and drove back home to pick up my laptop. Because you can ruin a Friday pretty quickly by showing up to work and seeing an unoccupied space where your computer should be. Similar to how the President feels when he points to the 70th percentile and asks why his approval ratings appear to be missing.
So the guy on the radio is quizzing his listeners by playing them short samples of tunes. They get a few seconds of music and they have to guess the song. And he’s serious about it. He groups the songs into batches of four and each listener goes from there guessing both the artist and the song. Plus he’s arranged them by the age of his listeners. So if you’re 39 you get some 80’s and early 90’s. If you’re 29 you get that crappy swill that passed for music in the mid 90’s. And every now and then he throws in classic stuff from the 70’s.
First guy gets a song by Billy something or other from Smashing Pumpkins. Horrible. I’d rather listen to Walter Mondale’s acceptance speech at the ’84 Democratic convention. Next guy however is 40. My interest is piqued. First song. Second song. Third song. Fourth song.
He blows it. Seriously. I can see missing Temple of the Dog, that’s hard. It was Pearl Jam and Soundgarden collaborating which throws a big monkey wrench into your thinking. Plus those two bands are among the culprits who killed hair metal. But blowing Firewoman? That alone leads me to believe that while this guy was around when metal ruled the world he wasn’t paying attention. His jeans weren’t ripped, he didn’t have a Levi’s jacket and he didn’t own Appetite for Destruction. And missing Triumph? It is simply impossible to be in your late 30’s or early 40’s and not have been subjected to Triumph videos on MTV. It can’t be done. It’s like watching TV and somehow avoiding a commercial voiced by Gene Hackman or Alec Baldwin. If somebody throws out, “hey you know that band that kinda sounded like Journey…” you instinctively answer, “You mean Triumph?” It’s muscle memory. Like when you say “wide right” to a Bills fan or “Michael Dukakis” to a liberal, their heads sink.
Now missing Join Together may be understandable. But not to me. This is my favorite Who song. Even more than Baba O’Reilly. But this guy didn’t even know it was The Who. I mean why did this guy even call up? What the hell was his thought process? Did he wake up thinking that embarrassing himself before work on a Friday morning was a helluva idea? Why don’t you go to work without pants too?
Anyway, we’re a full week into school with the girls. Which means we’re back to after school activities. Kinz has gymnastics on Wednesdays and all three of them have dance on Thursday. Kinz and Bails in the same class. I had dance duty yesterday and it wasn’t so bad. I even mentioned to their teacher that they seemed to be doing well together.
This quickly led to a discussion about how dead I am in a few years when they are teenagers. Listen, I already know I will be ignored and in most cases will be irrelevant. But man, everybody with teenage girls really feels the need to point this out to those of us who will have teenage girls.
“Boy my daughter was the sweetest little girl but then she became a teenager and turned into a cross between Satan, Streisand and that sound Chris Matthews makes when somebody makes fun of Obama.”
So instead of leaving dance class genuinely happy about how the girls behaved and how Bails actually listened better as the class went along, I’m already thinking about 2015 when our girls will be 12, 13 and 16. Woo hoo! That’s going to a good year…