It’s interesting watching Kinsey learn new things. She gets super excited, for example, when she learns new words. We’re reading a Dick and Jane book and Kinsey goes through a whole page without making a mistake. She pops up on the bed, gives me a couple fist pumps and starts doing the cabbage patch.
“That’s right, you know it, I can read it.”
She also likes to use big words she’s heard even though she has no idea what they mean. Last Friday we’re out at Homemakers looking at couches and Kinsey comes running and leaps onto a big ottoman. “Oh, this couch is so rambunctious.”
This morning as I’m brushing my teeth she comes into the bathroom to take care of couple things. Yeah, little kids have no shame. While she’s dumping some ballast, she’s telling me about how she can do the monkey bars now.
This is a big accomplishment for Kinsey. Any time we’ve gone to the park she’s really struggled with them. But with my daily insistence on the girls taking their vitamins and their fascination with exercise, Kinsey has really started to develop some coordination.
“Dad did you know that I can do the monkey bars now?”
“Really? That’s great.”
“Yeah, I can do each one even though I get kind of wiggly when I do it.”
“Yeah, my muscles help me do it. Want to see them? They are getting really strong, check them out.”
So after we get that done with the gun show, we go through the daily routine of getting clothes on, teeth brushed and hair done. I think there’s something in the Arthur cartoons that prevent the girls from brushing their teeth or hair. Like every 5th frame a subliminal sign pops up that says “Don’t listen to Dad.” It’s weird. I bet if you recorded it and played the cartoon backwards Arthur and Brain would be having conservation about how brushing your teeth will keep Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny from ever coming to your house again.
Anyway, I’ve been really late the last two nights. Unfortunately, when I got home Monday night at 10:30 Blazing Saddles was on AMC. Slim Pickens is freaking hilarious.
“Somebody is going to have to go back and get a whole #*&@load of dimes!”
So I’m still tired. Sometimes I wish I understood the magic of quantum physics and could just walk into the quantum accelerator and jump through time. It would more fun and I wouldn’t have to listen to the Democrats everyday.
Regardless, I’ve been late and Mom has had to do everything. So I took everybody to school this morning so she could get to work on time. Getting the girls in the car really isn’t complicated. They need to finish breakfast, usually Marshmallow Maties or some variation of Shredded Wheat, get their shoes and jackets on, and make sure the backpacks are ready to go, and if its Wednesday, have the dance bags ready too. You can’t let Kinsey in on the decision of which dance outfit to wear. Because that always ends up like the Treaty of Versailles with Kinsey plotting on how to overcome her defeat. Sooner or later you know she’s going occupy the Rhineland and invade Poland just to spite me.
Again, the easiest solution to any of this is to just turn off the cartoons but even I get a little nostalgic about the Smurfs and Valley of the Dinosaurs. Anyway, it’s amazing how Bailey can walk around, over and even trip on her shoes without ever noticing them. It’s even more amazing how Kinsey, when asked to get her dance bag or jacket, can go up the stairs into her room and completely forget why she’s there and start organizing her Barbies into various social strata at a pool party. Riley, however, can not only get her dance bag ready but also Kinsey’s too. All while getting jackets for all three of them and trying on four different pairs of shoes and still be ready to go before the other two. The weird and often irritating thing is that Bailey and Kinsey will sometimes listen to Riley more than me.
She’s like Mrs. Garrett coaxing Blair and Jo to get along.
Anyway, I send them all out to the car to while I run back inside to get my lunch, phone, badge, etc. Upon entering the car Bailey is absent or invisible.
“Girls where’s Bailey?
Thanks Rick and AJ. Great detective work.
I run back inside and find her coming down the stairs with something in her hands. Bailey needs to bring a book, a purse or some plastic jewelry to school everyday. Sometimes a Beanie Baby. Usually a cat.
“Geez, Bails, how’d you get past me? I was just getting my work stuff.”
“Well, I’m small Daddy. I’m Lightning McQueen too.”
I’m walking out to the car when I do a u-turn. Bailey was upstairs which means she’s probably left a light on up there somewhere. I was a little kid in the 70’s during the energy crisis. My Dad used to stand in the kitchen in the dark and listen to Pirates games. So I have a pathological need to make sure all the lights are off. So I have to run up stairs to get that done.
No lights on! Weird.
I get Bailey strapped into her seat. “Hey Bails, good job turning off the lights before you came back down stairs.”
“Well, I’m tall now too Daddy.”