You know what’s awesome?
This is awesome:
Like most parents from sea to shining sea, we rely on quick dinner options a couple times a week. A couple days ago it was Totinos Canadian Bacon pizza. The girls left me the pizza bones – aka the crust. Because, well, I like pizza bones. They’re crunchy, tasty and contain nearly all the taste of the original intact piece of pizza without all the grease. Sure you can discard the bones because they lack conventional amounts of cheese and toppings. The bones are just what’s left at the end of the piece of ‘zza right? They’re Franco Harris wearing #34 anonymously toting the rock in royal blue and silver around the Kingdom in 1984. But not to me. Pizza bones are Aerosmith nailin’ it with “Love in an Elevator” in ’89 a full 16 years after “Dream On” hit the charts. It’s the best part. And you get to eat it last.
Anyway, I’ve been secretly drawing up blueprints, architectural drawings, schematics for something. Riley called it a “man cave.” To me its just a place to put my stuff. My awesome collection of throwback NFL mini helmets. My Jeff Shaara books. My Diamonds Are Forever movie poster. My vintage football pennats for the Cardinals when they were in St. Louis and for the Rams when they were in Los Angeles. My Andy Van Slyke rookie card.
When the girls are too old for the swing set, I’m doing to it what Tim Burton did to Planet of the Apes – I’m demolishing it. In its place will be a small structure equipped with Direct TV, wireless internet and a mini fridge. What got us talking about this? Well, I attended a Man Cave party at my neighbor’s house. Its really a Pampered Chef/Tupperware party for dudes. You can buy over 30 varieties of bratwurst – including bacon cheeseburger and Philly cheese, a spatula large enough it requires a good deal of forearm work in the weight room to handle it properly and a burping coozie. It has a remote. So if you lose your beer, you hit the remote. And when your beer burps, you know where it is.
The burping coozie is a big hit with dudes. And kids. Rye has been walking around for a week pretending to burp. Normally you’d think after the first time it would cease to be funny. But you’d be wrong. Its hilarious. She’s come up a different facial expression nearly every time she’s done it. I figure as long as she doesn’t do it during math or in church, it shall remain funny.
Plus how cool is it to sit on the couch with your 4th grade daughter hitting a remote while coming up with your best burp face?