Was Christmas less complicated when we were kids? I mean pretty much all you did was agonizingly count down the days before Christmas Break, watch the Bob Hope Christmas Special and wait for Santa to deliver the loot. Now it seems we either get overwhelmed or it sneaks up on us. Although to be honest, if Christmas sneaks up on you there is really no one to blame but yourself. C’mon the decorations are up in October. It’s not like Christmas arrives all stealthy. The songs have been on the radio since before Thanksgiving and the decorations are up in all the stores minutes after Halloween is over.
I think what really happens is we let it overwhelm us. Every year we vow to shop earlier, get the Christmas cards done over Thanksgiving and to help Mom wrap the presents. Well, that last part is a complete falsehood. I’ve never done that. I stick the labels on the gifts. That is extent to which Mom trusts my wrapping skills. I’m a strong proponent of the widespread use of gift bags.
Now I’m must spitballin’ here but I’m pretty sure my appreciation for gift bag usage is based in the Christmas story. And I’m not talking about the 1983 movie in which Ralphie told us, “”Christmas was on its way. Lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas, upon which the entire kid year revolved.” No, I’m talking about the traditional telling of the actual Christmas story…updated for levity during this busy time of year.
Feel free to let me know if you remember it a bit differently.
According to yuletide folklore, Mary and Joseph traveled a long way to Bethlehem, inadvertently obligating couples from thenceforth to the customary holiday journey to visit family and friends while dealing with delayed flights, snowy roads and impatient whining children. Or, depending on your current parental situation, know-it-all, eye-rolling teenagers. Nary a mention of wrapping gifts. Also no condemnation of the rampant use of gift bags in place of traditional wrapping. Go back and look. Pretty sure the Biblical scholars are going to back me up on this. Mary made a list of what they needed and Joseph stupidly viewed the list as suggestions and instead only brought egg nog, chips and a list of where all the rest areas were located. Thankfully he was smart enough to observe a star in the sky which guided them to the Inn where they were told their reservations had somehow been lost and had been “upgraded” to the stable.
Anyway, Mary and Joseph, settled in next to the manger in which they placed the baby Jesus. Next to the manager was a small conifer. In this case, a fir. Possibly a spruce. Biblical arborists disagree. Regardless, Joseph, having driven the cart all the way from Nazareth to Bethlehem, suggested that they just put all Christmas gifts for family and friends in gift bags. After all it would be quicker and the important thing is the gift not the wrapping paper.
Thankfully, the three Wise Men also saw the star and began their trek to see the baby Jesus. Lesser known is the story of the Wise Men. They saw a star and began a trek to bring gifts to the baby Jesus. This, of course, began the age-old practice of dudes everywhere driving aimlessly through mall parking lots searching for open spots whilst their wives and girlfriends incessantly sent them pics asking which gifts they should buy. Unbeknownst to them at the time, the three Wise Men doomed husbands and boyfriends throughout the ages to consistent criticism for the gift decisions because of their weird gifts choice of gold, frankincense and myrrh . Maybe some 0-6 month onesies or some diapers? Or even a gift card to Rock Bottom for Mary and Joseph would’ve been nice. I mean they are going to want to get out of the stable for a few hours here and there.
Anyway, key thing to remember is the story does not include anything about: 1) wrapping gifts, and 2) saving Christmas cookies for some unnamed post-holiday reason.
So, feel free to use gifts bags for any type of gift and don’t worry about saving any Christmas cookies for later. Nobody makes New Year’s cookies…unless they help with hangovers…
Chronicles of Dad 