The Vortex

Quick thought…how do the Poles and the rest of eastern Europe not walk through the opening ceremonies giving the double middle finger salute to everyone associated with the Soviets in that stadium? Not kidding either.

Anyway, recently I mentioned that I found a new radio station which plays old stuff from the 80’s and 90’s. While not always on the money with cool stuff, here’s last Friday’s ride in music on 94.1: Paula Abdul with Straight Up, Robbie Nevil singing C’est La Vie, Traveling Wilbury’s doing, well doing something. I honestly can’t remember. Mostly because I thought the Wilbury’s were awful. I’m sure they had a good time working together. But virtually no one had a good time listening to them. So I treat them with the same deference I normally show Drunk Uncle Biden. But right after the Wilbury’s, Duran Duran came on with Something I Should Know and finally U2 doing I Have Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For. To be perfectly honest, I was kinda disappointed. Straight Up is one of Paula Abdul’s best. Arsenio’s in the video. Boom. Also reminds me of spring semester of freshman year of college. But, it’s Paula Abdul. If I’m going to pick a song from say, February of ’89, I’m picking Paradise City by Guns N’ Roses. Oh and I’m never picking Robbie Nevil. My older sister is going to be a bit heartbroken about that. Granted, Limousines is a good song. But, seriously, I’m never picking Robbie Nevil. If the summer of ’86 needs me to pick a song, its going to be Take It Easy by Andy Taylor from the American Anthem soundtrack. I’m not bragging. It is obviously somewhat embarrassing. Kinda surprised I even admitted it. After that you have Duran Duran singing something that isn’t Hungry Like Like The Wolf, which of course means its terrible. What? Name a song that you like by Duran Duran. Union of the Snake? Nobody likes that song. The Reflex? Tough to get past all that terrible 1984 clothing. Yeah, so my point stands. I like U2. And songs from The Joshua Tree are mostly good. But if we’re going to start talking about what we liked in 1987 then yesterday is an interesting story.

The ride in music peaked with Let’s Go by Wang Chung. Which led me to youtube and I immediately was lost in the youtube vortex. The youtube vortex is a wonderful place and considering how much time I spend there, you’d think I’d know my way around enough not to get lost. I mean I’ll be watching an old episode of Magnum, P.I. and then just sitting right there off to the right are some suggested videos. I’m powerless to resist them. Powerless I say! The full game broadcast of Browns-Colts from November 9, 1980? Hell yes, I’ll watch that. One of Bill Cowher’s 4 NFL starts at linebacker. Do I want to watch an aerial tour of Nikumaroro the island on which it is theorized that Amelia Earhart was marooned and died? Hells to the Yes! It was about this point that I remembered why I was inside the vortex in the first place. But listen, watching the Let’s Go video really is the gateway drug to 1987 nostalgia. And it reminds you of the dangerously high level of cheesiness in 80’s videos and, well, the vortex is a confusing but alluring place. Let’s Go turned into Hypnotize Me, which led to Midnight Blue which led to You’re Jammin Me, which led to Heart and Soul, which lead to I Know What I Like which led to Should’ve Know Better. And listen if you’re going to end up somewhere singing along with Richard Marx, well, you best be alone. Thankfully, I was. But Dammit man! How are you not impressed with Jack Hues’ leather fringed jacket in the Hypnotize Me video? You can’t. It’s simply too cool.

You’re going to the youtube vortex now aren’t you…


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