Sidewalk Wounds

A couple things of which I am now aware. Rye and Kinz eat their corn on the cob across while Bails and I eat it around.

Also the fastest way to get Rye to finish her dinner? Tell her she only has minutes until Dancing with the Stars and American Idol start.

Fastest way to get Kinz to finish? First you have to ignore the whining and excuses. When you are doing this you really have to mean it too. She can sense weakness. Once you’ve established dominance, tell her our neighbor is outside playing. Then she’s like a commercial grade street cleaner.

Fastest way to get Bails to finish? Let Kinsey go outside first and then tell her as soon as she finishes, she can go outside too.

Fastest way to get Kinz back inside? A wipeout on her new birthday scooter. Luckily I’m a Dad and I’m trained to field dress a sidewalk wound. There’s really an art to this. Actually all it really involves is some water, a paper towel and a band-aid. If it’s a Barbie band-aid that usually helps. Scooby works too.

When I was a kid my Mom would always bust out the Bactine just prior to the application of the band-aid. Dispite it’s cool smell, the use of Bactine was usually unpleasant. But your wound was clean. Or at least it smelled that way.

But I don’t have any Bactine. Which is probably a good thing because I do value my sense of hearing and everything associated with my auditory capabilities. Of equal value is my sense of balance. I like these things. But I know Kinz pretty well and I’m pretty sure that if I squirted some Bactine on her skinned knee she could deliver a Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween scream if Jamie Lee were screaming into a megaphone that was aimed directly at a microphone plugged into the sound system for an AC/DC concert.

So I’m just going with the band-aid.

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Published in: on May 19, 2009 at 6:53 pm  Leave a Comment  
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