There are times when your kids prove to you that they not only should they be put on e-bay but they also deserve to be put on e-bay. Then just when you’ve seriously starting thinking about the consequences of such a decision, they go and redeem themselves.
For example, Tuesday is show and tell day for Bailey. It’s “Y” day. Which means last week was “X” day. She has to bring something that begins with the letter of day. Unfortunately, our Tuesday morning routine has become the two of us searching her room for something just as I’m ready to walk out the door. It almost always ends in one of two ways: 1) badly, 2) with Bailey grabbing one of her Littlest Pet Shop figures and bringing it. On “W” day we brought in a wiener dog. Anyway, you ever try to find something that begins with “X” in your kid’s toy box? It’s easier to find a dude wearing a “Pelosi Rules!” t-shirt at Talladega.
So we got creative. Bailey brought Spider-Man on “X” day because Spidey is kind of a X-Man. At least he hung out with them once or twice. “Y” day, however, isn’t going so smoothly. Mom went to work early so I’m getting all the girls to school. You’d think I’d be better at this. They do the same thing every morning after they fight their way through breakfast. They have to put their shoes on, get their coats and get their backpacks ready. You’d think I was asking them to restore the original copy of the Magna Carta. The worst part, however, is that once again Bailey has left the show and tell decision to last minute. So Bails, Kinsey and I are up in their room looking for something that begins with “Y” while Rye is downstairs yelling up suggestions to us as she’s thumbing through the dictionary.
“Yarn! Yardstick! How about a yellow yardstick? Maybe a yellow crayon?”
“How about yarn Bails?”
“No,” says Bailey as she digs through her pile of Littlest Pet Shops with Kinsey.
“Hey Dad, what’s a yokel?”
“It’s what Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid call everyone who lives in Iowa.”
Meanwhile, Bailey and Kinsey are going through the pile of Littlest Pet Shop figures.
Finally, I’ve had enough. “Bailey, you’re bringing a yellow crayon or nothing. Let’s go.”
We head down the stairs with Bailey whining about how she doesn’t want to bring a yellow crayon. She wants to bring her blanket.
“Kiddo, that’s not a “Y” word. Sorry.”
“Well then I want to bring a banana.”
“What? Banana doesn’t…wait, it’s yellow. Sweet. Let’s go.”
“Boo-yah! I’m bringing a banana!”
Anway, Wednesday is PE day for Kinsey. Which means she has to wear her sneakers. This is a big deal because Kinsey doesn’t like to tie her shoes. It’s like they are made of broccoli. She just dreads doing it and when she manages to actually get them tied she whines about them being too loose and does this weird kid shaky walk to prove to me that they are loose.
“Kinsey doing that doesn’t prove your shoes are loose. It’s proves you have excessively flexible ankles.”
Anyway, our parent-teacher conferences were this week for Kinsey and Riley and they went really well. Which of course is all due to good parenting and blind luck. But we gave Kinsey some positive feedback from it. So she’s been super proud of herself all week. This confidence manifested itself in the form of punctuality.
I was stunned.
Thursday, she was the first one up. First one to brush her teeth and have Mom fix her hair. Then she went downstairs and got breakfast ready for the other two. I had to be revived using the defibrillator paddles. But she wasn’t finished. She put her shoes on, got her backpack ready and found her spring jacket without any whining! It was biggest upset since Buster Douglas knocked out Mike Tyson. I had the same look on my face that Akeem had when he turned around and saw Lorenzo Charles throw down that off-target Derrick Wittenberg 3-pointer in April of ’83.
So we’re on a roll going into the weekend. Don’t jinx it.