We’re finishing up our preparations for Christmas. Christmas cards are out. Presents are wrapped. I mean except for the ones I’m giving Mom. From what I’ve been able to gather, the lack of wrapping for Mom’s gifts are because I’m responsible for wrapping them. But all our decorations are up and I put up more outside lights this year than I ever have in the past. But that’s not really saying much. My brother and sister in law would tell you, whether you asked or not, that Christmas spirit is directly proportional to the number of lights you put outside your house. Now I’m not certain as to whether this is an approved measurement of Christmas spirit but they seem to believe in it however. That belief has, according to some rough calclulations, placed them squarely between Burl Ives and Bob Hope Christmas Specials in the Christmas Spirit Rankings. Sure it’s subjective but probably still more accurate than the BCS. C’mon giving Alabama a second shot instead of Oklahoma State? Boooooooo…
Anyway, Saturday morning I was watching this:
Week before Christmas 1977. We need a few snow games like this one before the season ends. Anyway, I go down to the basement to get a Diet Pepsi out of our pop/beer fridge and Bails has all four bins of Barbie stuff in the way of the door to the fridge. A closer inspection reveals that the bins are nearly empty and their contents are strewn about the basement floor. It was like she stuffed Barbie gear into a grenade and then watched it explode. After I was done hazing myself for allowing this much Barbie junk to be in my house I notice that the best part was that she had carefully placed four folding chairs nearly equidistant from each other within the blast radius of the Barbie gear. Why you ask? Well she was, much like the Costa Rican squirrel monkey, leaping from chair to chair as not to disturb the Barbie gear. Then she would play with the stuff while in each chair.
“Dad don’t freak out! I’ll clean it up when I’m done!”
My reply? “You’re right.”
Mom brings Riley and Kinsey back from dance and Kinz goes downstairs to see what Bails is up too. This was about 11:45 a.m. The next time we saw either one of them was about 4:30. And that was only because I went downstairs to make sure they hadn’t caused any lasting or visible harm to each other.
I peek around the bottom of the bannister and Kinz looks up at me.
“Hey Dad, we’re playing Barbies. They are going to pony tail school.”
“What?”
“It’s pony tail school. If you don’t wear a pony tail, you get expelled.”
“Wow, that’s a tough school, Kinsey.”
Christmas spirit rankings for today? How about my holiday favorite songs. I’ve done this in the past. This year my top three are:
Honorable mention to It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year – Andy Williams. Okay, I admit it. I’ll listen to anything Andy Williams sings around Christmas. I can’t help it. If I could have somebody narrate my day during the holiday season, I’d pick Andy Williams. He could sing a jingle for your local internet provider and it would sound like Santa himself was a customer.
3-The Christmas Song – Nat King Cole
I’ve never had roasted chestnuts. But I do know what it’s like to be around tiny tots with their eyes all aglow. In fact, when it comes to Christmas, they aren’t the only ones finding it hard to sleep in order to see if reindeer really know how to fly.
2-Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas – Karen Carpenter
This song, more than any other song, defines Christmas nostalgia. Who doesn’t want their troubles miles away? Who doesn’t want to be surrounded by faithful friends like the golden days of yore? You get to see your weird uncle, your kids get to fight with their cousins and it’s the only time of year when you can wear your holiday vest accessorized with a top hat adorned with holly.
1-I’ll Be Home for Christmas – Andy Williams
This song and the last scene in Home Alone when the South Bend Shovel Slayer finally gets to see his son and granddaughter make me feel the same. To paraphrase Frank Cross, Christmas is the one time of the year when you get to be the person you always wanted to be.
