You know what today is?
It’s the 65th anniversary of the fall of Rome in 1944. It’s an important but forgotten piece of history. Like the move to dump Abraham Lincoln as the Republican nominee for president in the summer of 1864. Or that the Steelers won a coin flip with the Bears in 1970 to determine who was awarded the first pick in that year’s NFL draft. The Steelers won and took Terry Bradshaw. The Bears lost and traded the pick to the Packers who took some defensive tackle from Notre Dame named Mike McCoy. I’m sure Mike McCoy is a good dude. Even if he was sentenced to play for the Packers in the 70’s.
Actually today is the last day of school. So in honor of that, here are the coolest things about the last day of school:
No backpacks. Holy Crap I’m looking forward to three months of never having to remind anyone about getting their backpacks ready for school. I think kids have some type of kill switch that they hit the moment they enter the house after school. Homework? Can’t remember. Gotta bring something into class tomorrow? Can’t remember. Perishable food item in your backpack? Can’t remember. It’s Jason Bourne-like amnesia.
Nobody argues about clothes. Kids love summer. Our kids love it a little more than what would normally be expected. And it’s all because they get to wear tank tops. They love tank tops the way Godzilla loved radiation. The way Montana loved Rice. Like Guns loved Roses. I mean before Axl lost his mind and broke up the band.
Routine. The last day of school means the last day of, “oh, hey Dad, I forgot, I need to bring a sack lunch today and $5 for a field trip and a white shirt for an art project and a rock to decorate and a couple pictures of me when I was a baby.” None of that. Occasionally, we’ll have to remember it’s water day at day care and they need a swimsuit and a towel. That’s it. So that’s a lot memory space I can clear for fantasy football statistics since I drew the 5th pick in our draft this year. Too bad Matt Forte will be gone by #5.
The bus isn’t going anywhere. So I don’t have to hear them whine about how I dropped them off at daycare too late and they only have 15 minutes to get the Polly Pockets out and build their Frank Lloyd Wright inspired split level lake house complete with closets the size of Albania. Speaking of Albania, anybody else still catch themselves singing this?
Anyway, tomorrow I’m staying home with Kinsey and Bailey and we’re going to see Up. No way I’m making the girls go to daycare on the first day of summer vacation. They’d only make you do that in a communist republic, a red regime…
Riley is headed to an all day birthday party at the amusement/water park. Then she’s sleeping over at her friend’s house. I like summer but there’s no way I’m taking a bunch of 3rd grade girls to the amusement park, then bringing them back to my house to have them spend the night. That’s a bullet I’m not willing to take.
